MY VALLEY OF LIFE..,

ON THE ROAD AGAIN... =)

Saturday, April 30, 2011

I'M TOTALLY ADDICTED WHEN IT COMES TO VAINING....

yes yes... it was a well worthy spent day.... although at first i grumbled about waking up at 6.30 a.m to start off my journey. i thought it would be dreadful but it wasnt. today dad and i went to fetch my brother who just finished his foundation. so it started from penang... a 2 and a half hour journey to kampar. the pleasant weather and the open roads which were not jammed ahhh it was awesome indeed. normally i hate travelling in the mornings. but today the atmosphere was unusual. then we stopped at some rehat place near perak for breakfast. had a coffee and a burger FYI.. the burger sucks! they had nothing except for burgers.. nuggets.. nasi lemak.. laksa... some noodles.. and i cant eat those stuff for breakfast.. but since i had no choice i had to go for the burger. coffee was fine. it was a good thing i took my licence. hahaaa. when we were nearing kampar, with great politeness and innocence i asked my dad whether i could drive... and we all know that kinda face always wins! so i finally got a chance to drive. and it wasnt a car, it was a van. so there it takes extra precaution and vigilance when driving. it was after 3 months since i saw my brother... there is nothing to be surprised about that pfft. after loading all his belongings into the van we headed straight to the housing office to return the key and get the refund. predicting that it would finish as soon as possible it took 4 freaking hours!!! what a waste of time! a lot of time seriously. at about 3.30 we left. and there was this heavy jam near ipoh. some how we managed to reach home at 6.20.. whew what a day.

when i was at kampar, i got a call from sis saying my uncle sent us some gifts from US. and..... i couldnt believe my eyes when i found out that it was the black long coat that i badly wanted. i didnt ask himthough... lol i think he read my thoughts :P. so there i go.... vaining all about with it.. hahaaaa. good night peeps! sweet dreams!

ROYAL MUCH?

Thursday, April 28, 2011

i'm a big time vainer... dont you think so? haha

well, i guess everyone of you must be anticipating the royal wedding which is taking place today... to be honest i am a big fan pf princess Diana. her stunning beauty , her extraordinary looks and her fashionable dressing has always been so attractive . unfortunately, her death put a pull stop to her entire life.. even though, her beauty shall still live. so yeah.. lets get into the topic... everyone is anxious to know Kate's dress... more that everything else... i mean it has never been revealed... and finally today we shall all take a glance at it. royal weddings are unusual... its like totally different from an ordinary wedding... the jewelery .... wonder how it must feel like being royal?? for me, its not fun at all.. its cool to hear people calling you " your royal highness" but when i think of freedom.. nah i dont think so.. i would certainly NOT want to be one.. =)

RECOVERING FROM DEPRESSION...

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

no medicine nor treatment could cure me from the obstacle i'm currently tangled in. when your heart has been pierced with dreadful sentences, its pretty hard for one to just ignore it. it starts to flash on your mind on and on... every minute .. in fact every second. you cant never digest it because its pretty complicated to do so. i'm certainly not having a "love crisis" or anything... i'm not a person who believes in all those cock eyed things. but when it comes from your own blood... its worst. this is when i start to regret my presence on this surface.. currently i feel like vanishing off to some place.... getting far far away from everyone. i'm really suffering from a lot of frustration... and frustration depresses me to the max. when i'm depressed .... i'm not strong.. i'm trying out every alternative to recover but none had worked out..

i wish i could not see cruelty on this surface.... especially cruelty from someone you loved since you were an infant.....

its the worst torture ever.

ps: be informed that my blogging activeness shall decrease from next week... from daily posts... it shall end up as weekly posts .. and from the 23rd onwards, i bet it shall be monthly posts.. and then i shall declare myself as a useless blogger. at least i'm glad to be free from the 23rd. its my reward that i was waiting to grasp all this time. its a relief to get to you that you are free from torture.... =)

WHEN TROUBLE GETS YOU....

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

what can i do if i am born as a girl?

i have no issues with what sex i am. in fact i'm proud to be a girl... no doubt in that. but its the fact that certain people always put girls 1 step down including PARENTS. not yours but mine. i dont want to be pampered and stuff but a bit of affection and love would do... not curses and lamentings..all what i could say is you are trying to build jealousy in my heart where i'm trying to break it off. i dont want to hurt you as that is sinful to me... but i'm a human being and i cant stand it for long too... by clenching my teeth and subsiding myself. i'm trying my best by not being rude to you. your words are so painful. if you stab my heart with a knife trust me it wouldnt be that hurtful... if i'm a big jinx to you... i shall move out from your life forever... the choice is yours and your chances are limited.

ANOTHER ORDINARY MONDAY...

Sunday, April 24, 2011

i was thinking for 3 minutes.. to type something. i'm currently lifeless to the max. thats why i call my mondays " ordinary mondays" because its the same routine that i follow on every monday and its sickening! the best part is about blogging on mondays.. i like to give a summary on what i did during my special weekends ( i'm being sarcastic) well yesterday, phaik kee's farewell took place and unfortunately i couldnt make it =( i'm so sorry phaik kee...... its because my mum wanted to go to bukit jambul and we ended up at home until 8 in the night. how pathetic.... in my opinion, sundays should be spent outside.. some where ..... a mall... a park ... or any where or earth. BUT NOT AT HOME! unless... its exam time =) then its fine to spend the whole day studying at home.. gosh! how bored could i be! then after 8 we went to bukit jambul and then headed straight to kapitan to try their mee goreng ( recommended by mavis ong) and chilled out their. on saturday, met up with mavis and ashley in ananda's it was random. actually i came with mum and sis and then suddenly ashley spotted me. it was quite some time since i met them. so yeah it was fun.

thank god next week bor's gonna be back. not that i miss him...... but at least we wont be spending the weekends in a dreadful way. and ...... he could coach me a bit when i'm driving... before he moves to KL. tooodles for now. =P

I WANT THIS.

Friday, April 22, 2011

humans are always not satisfied with what they have including me.... especially being a girl, you dream and admire a lot of materialistic things around you and wish that you get every single one of them. as a girl i have a lot of things that i really want in my life... but compared to my "materialistic list" i really want to achieve my own desires ...

1. my " DREAM JOB" to come true... if you're not rich its pretty hard to achieve what you want thats the situation i'm tangled in now if some generous person could just give me rm300 000 ahhh my problems are solved. but who could be that generous in life huh?

2.i must pass my coming exams with flying colours. i burnt my fingers once and i shall not burn it twice. i'm gonna make sure i put my heart and soul into it and excel with fantastic results.

3. i hate competition but if you want me to compete then its war! by instigation i shall do whatever ( but it has to be in the good way) to beat you in my life!

4. this may sound absurd but now i really wish i had a twin a close twin. i'm really suffering from a lot of depression and i need support. a 3rd person doesn't understand the situation i'm in. but if it is a person who is undergoing the same situation with you could understand you better. i really dont know what to do at this moment. i feel lost. its like I've lost my backbone.

5. i want family love. i have got it from everyone but except one person in my life.... its not the pampering and all but a bit of affection at least to know that you care for me would be just satisfying.... and this is really depressing me. if i had lost you i wouldn't have felt it that much but you exist and i envy everyone who has you. i just wish you could read this. ( i'm not in love or anything with a guy or what thats sheer nonsense note the point family member and i wont fall in love with any stupid person under the sun .falling in love is stupid according to me)

i know its impossible. it should be a miracle for this to occur. but i cant keep it in my heart anymore i need to pour it out. but no matter what i shall battle against it and try my best to achieve what i desire! i shall not give up...

SUMMARY OF FUN..

HEY PEEPS!! =)

its not too late for A late night post huh? normally i'm not very fond of my relatives unless i have been mingling with them from childhood and especially if it's my DAD's side i avoid them. but i had this aunt who was my fathers father ( i dont like to call him my grandpa ... dont ask why ) sisters daughter... and they were super nice! they came to penang on Wednesday for a 2 day trip but ended up staying for 3 days because of the fun we had. i mean it doesnt have to be the places you go... but it should be the conversations you have... and that lives up everything. so yeah to cherish there awesome company we had dinner at nando's. ( it made the day even better ) hahaaa because of the extra hot and spicy sauce.... hahaaaa i'm laughing at this current moment when i think about it. all by a little accident of pouring more sauce their faces turned red and hahaaaaa it was hilarious! after that, we went around shopping at Jusco and headed home because jusco was closing in a few minutes.... it was splendid! i never knew the other side of my family CERTAIN RELATIVES could be give good company to us.... but in the end of the day its that little happiness you get and laugh about... and that just makes your day even more better.

WHAT TO TYPE???

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

blogging everyday has made me run out of titles...... currently... i'm bored with my lifestyle... for me in life i need excitement, i need to face something new everyday i hate doing the same routine over and over again... > :( its SICKENING!!!

i feel like a bird trapped in a cage. i just cant bare seeing myself being degraded like this!! i feel sloppy... lazy.... and not enthusiastic at all. i want a new adventure in my life....

DE- MOTIVATING?? NO WAY!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

it was a sudden when my sister said that i demotivate her.. i was dumbfounded with her saying i mean i was like... why??? my presence and my nothing-to-do self.... what can i do.... gosh! i never knew this break could turn me into someone " demotivating" =O

obviously.... with my so called nothing-to-do routine... with just includes me sitting in front of my desktop like a plum pudding had just got me nothing... i feel dead... brain dead... i have never been this dreadful since the past 5 years. with school and assignments and activites, i was all occupied and active. thosedays, i really endured a long break... something like this =P but now.. i think its just a complete waste of my precious time.. every precious minute is being wasted by doing unwanted things.... and by idling sometimes... its stupid! later i shall be regretting in the future about wasting my time.. all the lamenting's shall begin once again... humans are never satisfied.. when you get something yyou always mumble out by saying " why on earth did i get this" ... but if you dont get it " you crave for it" ife is never satisfying.... once again i shall never wish for a 6 month break. i guess 3 months is just perfect... i dont wanna undergo this terrible yet awkward situation again! i'm an active blogger now... =D facebook has bored me now... thats why i post something everyday. have good day bloggers... =)

I'M OBSESSED WITH...

GLEE!!!

glee has thought me a lot!! even though many think its a stupid musical show.... its not! there are certain values to endure in it! finally i finished watching season 1 and now i'm moving forward with season 2. =) just finished watching episode 6 " never been kissed " skyforsky and Kurt... gawddddd!!! Blaine... i cant believe he is like kurt i mean my first impression on him was totally different but then he turns out to be a same replica of kurt =O weird.... i'm pretty upset about them losing during the regionals... at least they deserve 2nd! local adrenaline... I HATE YOU!! especially JESSE hmppphhhhhh poor Rachel... actually i find Rachel to be quite annoying but he broke her heart and thats mean! Rachel and finn again... i hate Finn... from the first time he broke up with rachel and tallied on with Santana.... he is a 2 faced brute... not at all honest! quin gave birth and she is head cheerleader... AWESOME!! my fav. character!! and my 1st beast character...... the revenge taking sue Sylvester!! horraayyyy!!! but she seems to be different inside even though she strives hard to destroy the glee club.. i could believe my eyes when she voted for new directions during the regionals!! aww sue... you inspire me to be sarcastic... your sarcasm is splendid and its just "knife stabbing" her expressions and words oh my!! its AWESOMEEEE!!!! hmm i find Artie cute... he seems to be alone now.. tina's got mike now and poor Artie.. but all thanks to britanny he's ok with her....

the awesome characters... =) except terri >:( i dislike her!!

GLEE!

my favorite character =) QUIN!! =D

my double favoriteee.... SUE!!!!

glee has thought me friendship.... determination... sarcasm.... love... and finally unity.. cheers to GLEE i'm glad to be a GLEE fan! =)

INSPIRATION....

Saturday, April 16, 2011

i know i sound like this ridiculous fashion designers.... where they go nuts about inspiration.. but my description about inspiration is just totally unusual! my policy:

WHEN I'M INSPIRED I SHALL DO ANYTHING TO ACHIEVE MY " SO CALLED DREAM WHICH INSPIRES ME" EVEN IF IT IS MEANT FOR ME TO FLY TO THE MOON

ignore the moon part..... i know it sounds pretty absurd =.= i guess sticking onto one thing in life is just useless and pointless. why cry over something which is not gonna occur in the future huh? why look like an idiotic buffoon worrying about a specific thing and in the end you look like a complete sucker in everyone's eyes! i decided if i'm not meant to do what i wanted i shall not cry over that and ruin my entire life. its just pointless! so all i have got to say is....

I'M READY TO FACE IT.....

BRING IT ON!

PS: normally every post of mine has a vaining me .... but i guess you must be wondering why huh? lol i think i would say its for a change or perhaps i'm too lazy to lift up my camera and vain again.... be prepared for the nest update. and for sure i'll be vaining.... :) lol

FIVE THINGS I HATE ABOUT MY FLESH AND BLOOD..

Thursday, April 14, 2011

what on earth if your own flesh and blood turn into wacko's? at that moment you feel like running somewhere far far away from them!!! at that spur moment i wish i was big, well settled and rich so that i could lead my own life..... no one understands you except yourself..... i really stick on to that! when they just tell you to forget your dreams... and make you obliged to their commands! its very annoying..... anything you decide with they break it up..... i seriously dont share anything with them and i;m pretty pleased with it. i hate it! everyday i'm getting very fed up with them! i'm just clenching my teeth and waiting for the day i start my degree where it would be so pleasant not to be having anyone... i want some loneliness... i'm not asking for any materialistic things... i just want my future to be bright..... with the ambition of my choice i would be happy... doing something that is FORCED by doesnt put a single happiness in your heart and then you start envying everyone around you! i'm seriously hating this! its like some kind of " teenage crisis" that i'm undergoing and not at all pleased with it!!! its getting me mad! i'm just being patient by waiting for form 6 to start so that i wont be there in my naggy ol' home .. as now i started to value school life more than the holidays...... favoring her "chosen ones" as if i'm some kind of unwanted soul...... i just cant take it anymore...... haihhh the characters around me.... oh god! its so bloody frustrating.. not at all encouraging and inspiring.... TO ME!

NO.1 : I DONT LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE PUT ME DOWN ... thats what they do all the time..

NO.2 : I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DISCOURAGE ME.... ( THE SAME DESCRIPTION)

NO.3 : I HATE IT WHEN YOU GIVE HORRIBLE COMMENTS ABOUT MY AMBITION!!!! ( because it was my dream and inspiration since i was 6)

NO.4 : I HATE IT WHEN YOU ARE UNFAIR TO ME! ( specifically liking 'certain ones')

NO.5 : NOT GIVING ME ATTENTION ( i dont want to be under the lime light but a bit of affection..... cant you spare that at least??? )

there you go... five things i hate about my flesh and blood..... and i'll do this when i'm mad at you!hmmphhhh!

C FOR... CUPCAKE!!!!! =D

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

this just makes my mouth water.... mmmmm actually i am suppose to post this post on sunday but my laziness prevented it. hi bloggers..... i saved this post so that i could post it on a some random day when i'm bored to the core... otherwise i bet you would not want to stand up with my whinnings dont you?? check it out the picture below.... i say its absurd i mean......

what would be more absurd than vaining with a cupcake???? :O but i had to do so because it was MY cupcake I made it! =)

it was pretty quick though. i had to just beat everything up and bake it!! not to forget...... topping it up with some super duper creamy dreamy cream cheese!!!! mmmmmmmmmm i hate this!! its tempting me now!!!!!! :(

seeing this makes my stomach rumble GAH!!!!

I CALL IT JEALOUSY....

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

seeing the whole world of your size coming up tremendously could add a bit of anger and frustration in yourself. being frustrated about something is like the WORST of all! and to top it up when you get that sense of jealousy in you you, you feel like exploding, tearing up every single strand of hair on your head and screaming out in anger. well... i bet you can pretty much guess that i am tangled in a situation like that. getting rewarded when you realize that you have not succeeded in achieving what you wanted or what you have aimed it not called a reward its call PAYED BACK FOR NOTHING i feel pretty upset ... very upset to be precise about the situation i am undergoing now. when i think about that little mistake i made i feel like bursting into tears or perhaps grabbing up a knife and stabbing myself. my aim in life is simple: TO BE SUCCESSFUL and TO ACHIEVE WHAT I WANTED and... i didnt get to that.... i'm frothing mad at the moment when i glance at those of my heights are getting what they deserve.... i feel useless..... hopeless and stupid! i mean no matter how i try to satisfy myself by saying its alright... but that doesn't work.. at this very moment i'm at the urge of crying loudly when i think of it. but in the end if you sum it up it equals to my fault.... i know its over.. its called " THE PAST "but if i have put in 100 % and perspiration in it i would have achieved it...... i regret it.... 2 things are killing me at the moment... 2 things which i cant share with anyone.... 2 dreams..... which i do not want them to fade off in my life...... i am in deep sorrow. which i cant get over. no matter how much i persuade my brain to do so. i feel stupid.... ridiculously stupid! idiotic!dumb! oh god i really dont know how am i going to get over this massive trouble..... its building up my jealousy level... it HAS built! and now... its raging high.... i cant help it! i am really sorry! i know its wrong to be jealous! but i'm frustrated! and my brain says thats the only solution! i wanted that dream that happen!!! i had faith and hope... but i'm clueless and dumbfounded..... wondering how i ended up in this situation.... i tried my very best... and i had high hopes.... but it all tumbled down.. shattered into a hundred pieces..... broke my heart badly.... affected my attitude.... and its turning me into someone evil.... which i'm not looking forward for. i really dont know what am i going to end up in..... seeing everyone successful and getting everything they wanted makes me sad because i couldn't achieve it too..... with a head full off worries and a heart with 0% determination.. i really dont know how to phrase it. but at this spur moment all what i could say is i'm a major loser! i'm fighting a battle and i call it " JEALOUSY " if i win... i would destroy this battle...... cause i dont want a simple war in my life to lead me into a mass destruction with everyone around the world turning their backs towards me......... if anything dies... MY DETERMINATION SHALL STILL LIVE.... its not the end of my life... i think my journey begins now my journey which is going to lead me to victory and success.. and it shall make me THE BEST! so i tell myself " KEEP MOVING ON and DONT LET THAT LITTLE SPIRIT OF YOURS DOWN " you could do it! all you need is a little time... hope and determination...thats it! the world would bow down at you! I SHALL STRIVE AND SOMEDAY.... I SHALL BE POSTING SOMETHING THAT I ACHIEVED... GO FOR IT! YOUR GAME HAS STARTED. YOU ARE NO. 1 AND NO ONE SHALL STEAL YOUR PLACE! COME ON!

MY DETERMINATION SHALL NEVER FADE OFF IT SHALL ALWAYS

BUILD UP MY SPIRIT AND DRIVE ME TO SUCCESS! I FEEL THIS IS THE STARTING OF SOMETHING NEW ,,,, A FRESH START HUH? I AM READY TO GO THROUGH ANY TEDIOUS JOURNEYS AND ACHIEVE MY DREAMS..... I AM IN FOR IT!

BRING IT ON!!!

i had to thank my blog for building my spirit up...... its the only friend that i really share my sorrows with ... and the only friend that builds me up....... now i'm ready for it!!

BLACK AND WHITE =)

Friday, April 8, 2011

just imagined what the world would be like without some colour? haha so get those crayons out and start colouring :) hi peeps on a fine sunny saturday i at least took the initiative to publish a post on my super duper blog rather than lamenting about my ' oh-so- boring-day" or my " oh- so- boring- post" blah blah blah ...... so yes BLaCK & WHiTE :) but i dont know much about those two colours.... but let the pics do the talking obviously we all know a picture is worth a thousand words =) the pic below consist of half colour and dull-ness....

i like myself :P say it i HEART myself...

colours make's your imagination wild... HEARTS.. LOVE... CINTA.... hahhaaa

the little thing that puts a smile or a BIG grin..... my P licence.... :)

say hi to squishy!! my NO.1 fav magnetic plushy.. and.. his little rocking chair.. :) in black and white too :)

actually.... its a blend of dullness and colour....

but we do need colour..... i cant live in a black and white world... its pretty sickening..... :P

PASS HAS TO ALWAYS START WITH A CAPITAL "P" =)

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

wonder whats up with all the smileys of me???? =) i FINALLY PASSED ME DRIVING TEST!!!! WOOT!!!! =D i just cant believe it! last week i failed and this week i'm legal on the road :P its like A big present i've been waiting for! but unfortunately my license will be here after a week or so hmmphhh why does it have to take so long???? :( last week the hill which i could not get over it but today i did it lol with all that excitement in mind i was pretty nervous to steer around and that caused me to accidentally drive over the pavement and there were like 80 something students to be exact and me... esh! so with the help of the worker the guy who works in cemerlang he managed to assist me without the tester seeing it lol ... the advantages of being a girl =) ahhhhhh it all just happened in a split of a second but in th end it was the results that was counted and i PASSED!!! congrats emmelia for passing your road test !!! we took it together and last week we failed together.... but today WE PASSED TOGETHER!! OHHH yeah!

the happiness that really deserves a post hmmm i wonder how i would react in the future when i browse through this teee hee i think i would be laughing to myself like an idiot but who cares huh? =) its that little smile that makes you feel special.

DISAPPOINTMENTS..... =(

Saturday, April 2, 2011

yea you have guessed it by my depressing title itself.... i dont understand why or how that everyday is turning out to be a bad day.... on friday, i was excited about eating fish and chips cause its been a long time since i have had it. so, in manhattan they were having a promo. and guess what on our way to queens our car's timing belt went off :( damn it huh? okay thats not a very big deal though ..... BUT YESTERDAY!!!!! :'( i feel like bursting into tears!! why oh why!! why do they have to play so freaking hard and make it to the finals and lose!!! bloody hell!! that was frustrating to the max! i really thought that Sri Lanka would carry the trophy with pride and joy.. i really thought that victory was in our hands but in the end.... THEY LOST! their bowling which WAS SUPER good ended up into a big catastrophe. blah! i was so high on!! i really thought they would win! this was there 2nd and damn hmmpphhh i'm really disappointed in them hmmpphh and now i cant get over it~! =(

I AM INDEED SUPPORTING YOU =)

Friday, April 1, 2011

WONDERING WHY 9 INSTEAD OF 1?

hahahaaa well for a change and its been quite some time since i have chamwhored with my webcammy.... =) i'm getting pretty bored using my camera so this is for a change =) i know.. i know... i do like to vain A LOT !!!

and to top it all tomorrow is the finals for the cricket world cup ohhh yeahh!!! india vs sri lanka its gonna be another fascinating, thrilling and exciting match!!

what do you think ???

which is better????

left?

right?

i look kinda ..... i'm speechless :/?